Getting Lost in Words

 

 

Books I’m reading….

I started a couple of these books months ago and didn’t finish but I’m trying to get back to reading books like I used to.

The Bible- Growing up in church and being a pastor’s grand-kid, reading the Bible was a expected. As I got older I found it to be a little useless but I think I should try again so I’ll be reading the one my mom (R.I.P.) bought me years ago but ended up reading herself because I would rarely open it unless me and her were discussing scriptures and religions. I actually may be blogging about getting back into the Bible …stay tuned.

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho- I absolutely love this book. I’ve read it before but I love the story.

An Inquiry Into the Good by Kitaro Nishida- I bought this for a philosophy class I was taking. I didn’t read it completely but I enjoyed the parts that I did read. I’ll be starting at page one.

Sister Citizen by Michelle Harris-Perry- I’ve been reading this one off and on since I purchased it. It’s definitely a great read so far.

The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene- I purchased this about a year ago and have yet to finish it.

Africa Vol. 3 edited by Toyin Falola- Another one I bought for class and didn’t read at all.

The Inhumanity of Man

Troy Davis (October 9, 1968 – September 21, 2011)

I woke up this morning with Troy Davis and his family on my mind. Like many others, last night I was watching the news and reading tweets as the world waited to see whether or not Mr. Davis’s life would be spared once again….many prayed it would. Mr. Troy Davis was convicted in 1989 of the murder of off duty police office Mark MacPhail based only on eyewitness testimony, no physical evidence, no gun. Seven of the nine witness who claimed that Davis was the gunman who had ended MacPhail’s life later recanted their statements and said that another man was actually the killer; that man’s name is Sylvester “Red” Coles…one of the people who claimed that Davis was the killer. For the last 22 years, Troy Davis has maintained his innocence and hoped that one day justice would be prevail….last night that didn’t happen. To the end Mr. Davis proclaimed his innocence and even in his last moments let the family of the slain officer know that he was not the person who killed Mr. MacPhail. The fact is that Troy Davis deserved a new trial, he had a right to prove his innocence in this case and that right was violated by the state of Georgia. No one is saying that Troy Davis was an angel but the responsibility of this crime should only be place on the person who committed the crime and there was too much doubt to say that that person was Troy Davis.

I don’t know what to say except that this country and our legal system has failed once again. There is no way that Troy Davis should have lost his life last night when there was so much doubt in his case. No one should lose their lives, no matter what the reason or crime because the fact is it is not our right as human beings to take another persons life even under the guise of justice. Contrary to what the family of MacPhail believes or hopes, they will find no peace in this; the death of Troy Davis does nothing for the memory of their loved one but sully it because quite possibly the real killer is walking around happy that he didn’t have to pay for his crime. I hope that the family of Troy Davis continues to fight to clear his name because if it was my brother or father nothing would stop me from fighting to clear their name. I hope that those who were complicit in the murder of Troy Davis know that although they may not see it, his blood is on their hands.  The only person who has truly found peace is Troy Davis because although he lost his life due to the injustice our country’s legal system, he left this place still proclaiming his innocence, not allowing anyone to break his resolve in that knowledge.

It’s no wonder that parts of the world see us in such a negative way. Our laws are still as barbaric as the individuals who created them. No matter what the history books tell you, many of our “founder” were terrible human beings and still at this day and age out country continues their traditions of brutality. Troy Davis was lynched last night and I would say that even if he wasn’t black…any death sentence is a lynching. To support the death sentence doesn’t make you tough on crime, it makes you just as bad as the person being sent to their death…if they actually committed the crime. Many of the same people who support capital punishment also claim to be pro-life; How can you be pro-life and pro-death also? The need to see someone die reminds me of how blood thirsty the Romans were, they took pleasure in watching another human being die and it seems that many in our society do also. The lessons that out faiths and religious texts teach us seems to fall on deaf ears and that will be our undoing as human beings. We don’t have the right to do God’s job, he didn’t ask us to do it.  Who are we to decide if someone lives or dies? Why do people think they have a right to be an executioner?  There is no honor in killing another person.

My condolences to the family of Troy Davis and good luck to the family of Officer MacPhail; No one should lose the people they love the way that both of these families did. Just know that the murder of someone for murdering someone else is not justice…it doesn’t bring a loved one back, it doesn’t honor their memory…it only serves to appease the anger of those left behind and most times it doesn’t work out they way they assumed it would. The anger, the loss, the pain is still there because you can’t pacify it with more death.

The inhumanity displayed by one person to another reflects the weakness of their souls.

Cheers to Rihanna

Over the years, I’ve become a fan of Rihanna…FAN not Stan; I just wanted to make that clear. We can all acknowledge that she’s not a vocal powerhouse and (she doesn’t have to be), but I think that she can sing (MY OPINION). What I like about her is that she seems so accessible as an artist and person to her fans, which is in contrast to other artists who are extremely guarded (kind of understandable). With a lot of artists, you get the music they put out and nothing more, it makes me a little disinterested in their work sometimes. This isn’t to say that Ms. Fenty isn’t guarded, anyone can see that and she like other artist have a right to be, but you also get a glimpse into the person and not just the persona. I don’t think that I have seen very many in the public eye so private yet so open at the same time; it makes me actually like her more. She seems to have found a balance at her age and at this stage in her career that works for her. She’s perfectly imperfect, she doesn’t hide it, and I think that’s what makes people love her so much.

With that said, enjoy her new video.

Thandie Newton: Embracing Otherness; Embracing Myself

I found this video last night while surfing the net looking for something inspiring to write about. This is actress Thandie Newton speaking at TED Global 2011. I hope you all enjoy it and take something positive from it. I am also including the transcript for those who want to read it. Enjoy and give some feedback, I would love to read your thoughts.

Embracing otherness. When I first heard this theme, I thought, well embracing otherness is embracing myself. And the journey to that place of understanding and acceptance has been an interesting one for me, and it’s given me an insight into the whole notion of self, which I think is worth sharing with you today.

We each have a self, but I don’t think that we’re born with one. You know how newborn babies believe they’re part of everything; they’re not separate. Well that fundamental sense of oneness is lost on us very quickly. It’s like that initial stage is over — oneness: infancy, unformed, primitive. It’s no longer valid or real. What is real is separateness. And at some point in early babyhood, the idea of self starts to form. Our little portion of oneness is given a name, is told all kinds of things about itself. And these details, opinions and ideas become facts, which go towards building ourselves, our identity. And that self becomes the vehicle for navigating our social world. But the self is a projection based on other people’s projections. Is it who we really are? Or who we really want to be, or should be?

So this whole interaction with self and identity was a very difficult one for me growing up. The self that I attempted to take out into the world was rejected over and over again. And my panic at not having a self that fit, and the confusion that came from my self being rejected, created anxiety, shame and hopelessness, which kind of defined me for a long time. But in retrospect, the destruction of my self was so repetitive, that I started to see a pattern. The self changed, got affected, broken destroyed, but another one would evolve — sometimes stronger, sometimes hateful, sometimes not wanting to be there at all. The self was not constant. And how many times would my self have to die before I realized that it was never alive in the first place?

I grew up on the coast of England in the ’70s. My dad is white from Cornwall, and my mom is black from Zimbabwe. Even the idea of us as a family was challenging to most people. But nature had its wicked way, and brown babies were born. But from about the age of five, I was aware that I didn’t fit. I was the black atheist kid in the all-white catholic school run by nuns. I was an anomaly. And my self was rooting around for definition and trying to plug in. Because the self likes to fit, to see itself replicated, to belong. That confirms its existence and its importance. And it is important. It has an extremely important function. Without it, we literally can’t interface with others. We can’t hatch plans and climb that stairway of popularity, of success. But my skin color wasn’t right. My hair wasn’t right. My history wasn’t right. My self became defined by otherness, which meant that, in that social world, I didn’t really exist. And I was other before being anything else — even before being a girl. I was a noticeable nobody.

Another world was opening up around this time: performance and dancing. That nagging dread of self-hood didn’t exist when I was dancing. I’d literally lose myself. And I was a really good dancer. I would put all my emotional expression into my dancing. I could be in the movement in a way that I wasn’t able to be in my real life, in myself.

And at 16, I stumbled across another opportunity, and I earned my first acting role in a film. I can hardly find the words to describe the peace I felt when I was acting. My dysfunctional self could actually plug in to another self not my own. And it felt so good. It was the first time that I existed inside a fully-functioning self — one that I controlled, that I steered, that I gave life to. But the shooting day would end, and I’d return to my gnarly, awkward self.

By 19, I was a fully-fledged movie actor, but still searching for definition. I applied to read anthropology at university. Dr. Phyllis Lee gave me my interview, and she asked me, “How would you define race?” Well, I thought I had the answer to that one. And I said, “Skin color.” “So biology, genetics?” she said. “Because, Thandie, that’s not accurate. Because there’s actually more genetic difference between a black Kenyan and a black Ugandan than there is between a black Kenyan and, say, a white Norwegian. Because we all stem from Africa. So in Africa, there’s been more time to create genetic diversity.” In other words, race has no basis in biological or scientific fact. On the one hand, result. Right? On the other hand, my definition of self just lost a huge chunk of its credibility. But what was credible, what is biological and scientific fact, is that we all stem from Africa — in fact, from a woman called Mitochondrial Eve who lived a 160,000 years ago. And race is an illegitimate concept which our selves have created based on fear and ignorance.

Strangely, these revelations didn’t cure my low self-esteem, that feeling of otherness. My desire to disappear was still very powerful. I had a degree from Cambridge; I had a thriving career; but my self was a car crash, and I wound up with bulimia and on a therapist’s couch. And of course I did. I still believed my self was all I was. I still valued self-worth above all other worth. And what was there to suggest otherwise? We’ve created entire value systems and a physical reality to support the worth of self. Look at the industry for self-image and the jobs it creates, the revenue it turns over. We’d be right in assuming that the self is an actual living thing. But it’s not; it’s a projection, which our clever brains create in order to cheat ourselves from the reality of death.

But there is something that can give the self ultimate and infinite connection — and that thing is oneness, our essence. The self’s struggle for authenticity and definition will never end unless it’s connected to its creator — to you and to me. And that can happen with awareness — awareness of the reality of oneness and the projection of self-hood. For a start, we can think about all the times when we do lose ourselves. It happens when I dance, when I’m acting. I’m earthed in my essence, and my self is suspended. In those moments, I’m connected to everything — the ground, the air, the sounds, the energy from the audience. All my senses are alert and alive in much the same way as an infant might feel — that feeling of oneness.

And when I’m acting a role, I inhabit another self, and I give it life for awhile. Because when the self is suspended so is divisiveness and judgment. And I’ve played everything from a vengeful ghost in the time of slavery to Secretary of State in 2004. And no matter how other these selves might be, they’re all related in me. And I honestly believe the key to my success as an actor and my progress as a person has been the very lack of self that used to make me feel so anxious and insecure. I always wondered why I could feel others’ pain so deeply, why I could recognize the somebody in the nobody. It’s because I didn’t have a self to get in the way. I thought I lacked substance, and the fact that I could feel others’ meant that I had nothing of myself to feel. The thing that was a source of shame was actually a source of enlightenment.

And when I realized and really understood that my self is a projection and that it has a function, a funny thing happened. I stopped giving it so much authority. I give it its due. I take it to therapy. I’ve become very familiar with its dysfunctional behavior. But I’m not ashamed of my self. In fact, I respect my self and its function. And over time and with practice, I’ve tried to live more and more from my essence. And if you can do that, incredible things happen.

I was in Congo in February, dancing and celebrating with women who’ve survived the destruction of their selves in literally unthinkable ways — destroyed because other brutalized, psychopathic selves all over that beautiful land are fueling our selves’ addiction to iPods, Pads, and bling, which further disconnect ourselves from ever feeling their pain, their suffering, their death. Because, hey, if we’re all living in ourselves and mistaking it for life, then we’re devaluing and desensitizing life. And in that disconnected state, yeah, we can build factory farms with no windows, destroy marine life and use rape as a weapon of war. So here’s a note to self: The cracks have started to show in our constructed world, and oceans will continue to surge through the cracks, and oil and blood, rivers of it.

Crucially, we haven’t been figuring out how to live in oneness with the Earth and every other living thing. We’ve just been insanely trying to figure out how to live with each other — billions of each other. Only we’re not living with each other; our crazy selves are living with each other and perpetuating an epidemic of disconnection.

Let’s live with each other and take it a breath at a time. If we can get under that heavy self, light a torch of awareness, and find our essence, our connection to the infinite and every other living thing. We knew it from the day we were born. Let’s not be freaked out by our bountiful nothingness. It’s more a reality than the ones ourselves have created. Imagine what kind of existence we can have if we honor inevitable death of self, appreciate the privilege of life and marvel at what comes next. Simple awareness is where it begins.

Thank you for listening.

Source: Ted.com

On Life and Writing……

My attempt at writing has yielded this......

Since my last post I have had a bit of writer’s block (I kinda still do). I haven’t been able to really sit down and put any thoughts on paper. So, I think I’ll just list a few of the things I hope to accomplish with this blog in the future and in my life as a whole…so here goes:

1. Get my masters degree
2. Travel for a bit..I’ve always wanted to see the world and I’m tired of watching the Travel channel in order to do it.
3. Live in London.
4. Learn to speak a least two different languages (Spanish and French)
5. Finish my book (working on it)
6. Make a living doing what I love…writing. I truly believe in the Rumi quote “Let the beauty of what you love be what you do”.
7. Learn to be a lot more open with people (working on it)
8. Have kids…or…one ( I already have a name…judge me)
9. Make money blogging. Why not? It’s something I enjoy. Why not profit from something that you actually enjoy doing?
10. Try new things.

Those are just a few of things I would like to do. I hope that I get to accomplish most of those in the next year or so. Until I go, I’ll keep working toward my goals. Do you have a list of things you’d like to accomplish? What are they?

“Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.”
-Rumi

I need to know something….

about this rapture that’s supposed to happening tomorrow. This has been predicted before and people have gathered in churches and waited for the clock to strike midnight and all of that and it hasn’t happened yet. I’m not really sure how this time is different or why people would be so inclined to believe someone when they say that the rapture is happening on some specific day when the Bible says “But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only” (Matthew 24:36). Now, my post isn’t about why people believe that the rapture is upon us but about what people do when they believe that it’s upon us…like sell all their worldly possessions…to other people. Why do people sell their homes and other things to prepare? Is there a toll in heaven? How do they know who’s going to be left behind?! Do they have an advanced copy of the guest list? I would be so insulted if someone tried to sell me their stuff in preparation for the rapture; it’s like they’re saying “You ain’t going so you might as well buy my shit.” My reaction would probably be something like …

“What are YOU trying to say? I’m not going?I’m not worthy? I don’t have an invite into the Club Heaven?”

I just don’t get it. Why would selling everything you have be a priority? You don’t need anything for the rapture and surely the things left behind shouldn’t be a worry. Right? I mean….*sigh*

Maybe I’m missing something 0_o…

Maybe It’s Just Me

A campaign volunteer knocked on my door today and tried 2 give me some flyers…I handed them back & told him no thanks. I told him I don’t support his candidate & he tried to say he’s just making sure that people have gotten their ballots and voted…ok cool. I already voted, & sent in my ballot..I did actually vote for the person he’s supporting but she was just the lesser of two evils IMO…I’m not completely sold on her ability to the job, but she’s been doing it for 18 years. I don’t respect the campaign tactics of either candidate but the other one is a slime ball so I definitely wasn’t voting for him. Mainly I just didn’t want to have a conversation with him about the candidate he supports these mofos talk too much for me up here…LOL.
¯\(°_o)/¯

But to be completely honest, I’ve really grown weary of all the political craziness that’s going on now…no one is being straight up…everyone talks around the issues and then there are those who don’t even know anything…running for office and promoting nothing but hatred and separatism to the masses who take it as gospel and run with it. They feed enough bullshit to make people think they know what they’re talking about and they do it with a smile because they know that they have just inspired another group of people to adopt their backwards thinking. To be blunt (and probably offensive), Sarah Palin, Christine O’Donnell, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly, and Glenn Beck are the faces of the Republican party…maybe not officially but these are the faces (among others) that we see on the news regularly and you can’t convince me that the first two know their asses from a hole in the ground and the only thing Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, and Rush Limbaugh don’t do is wear their white hoods and scream “heil Hitler!!”. *catches breath*

I’m really afraid of what’s going to happen if people continue to listen to the lies and propaganda that seems to be permeating the forms of media that we all access (blogs, twitter, facebook, television, etc.) because it seems that most aren’t thinking for themselves…they’re not digging deeper to find out who these people are and if they really want them representing them in state and national government; they’re just regurgitating the words of the people they blindly follow without really finding out the facts. From the war in the Middle East that seems like it will never end to the controversy over the Mosque being built a few blocks from the WTC site, I see the divide that political opportunist are taking advantage of and it’s a little heartbreaking. To see the progress this country has made socially and politically turned backwards by people who continue to hold on to some of the most ridiculous ideals makes me shake my head in frustration and disappointment because it means that we are failing as a nation, as a society…as human beings.

P.S.–> Just to be clear I don’t care if a person is Democrat or Republican…full of sh** is full of sh** to me. I don’t always agree with the Dems either but what Repubs are doing right now isn’t about helping the country; it’s about getting the best of the other person, falsehoods, and promoting intolerance of people based on race and religious preferences. The adolescent tactics they are using are no different from the things kids did in the schoolyard…I find the act of it among adults as completely reprehensible and digressive to what the focus should really be.

But hey…maybe it’s just me.